she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize