Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
