Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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