it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize