Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
