so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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