So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize