Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He has the fingertips of a God
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