She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
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