You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
