As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
