Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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