She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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