her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
