I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
