yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
