So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
