This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So much rum. So many feels.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
