i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
