Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
