I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
