Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
