She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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