Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
