it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
