been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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