how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
