I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
