My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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