I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
do herpes really smell.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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