Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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