Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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