So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
