Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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