Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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