I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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