the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
