Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
