My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
