Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
