The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
