the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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