Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
