I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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