We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
