So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
