oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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