i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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