did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
