3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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