What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
