I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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