You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
two words...techno handjob
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
