You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
