We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
