So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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