It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
There r osticjed everywhere
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
What drink are we having for lunch?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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