We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize