Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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