Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
