She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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