Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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