It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
