I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just want nice things and good sex
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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