Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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